there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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