I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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