Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Randomize
