my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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