How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
