I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Randomize
