just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Randomize
