I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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