Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
