absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Randomize
