My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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