Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
