i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Life without a bra equals bliss.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
