dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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