I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Randomize
