so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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