Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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