considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize
