I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
