Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
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