I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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