I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize