i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Randomize
