Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
