I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
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