Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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