spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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