Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize
