Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
