I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
