Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Randomize
