We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Randomize