Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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