I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
