im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
