Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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