Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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