Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
