idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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