My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
