so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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