Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Swine flu. Run for my life!
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
