is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
