We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
