I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
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