Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
