apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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