i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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