my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
