What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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