Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
