Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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