i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
And then he peed in my hair
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