: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
