i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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