I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
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