All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
