So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
You took a bar mat shot.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
