Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
cat food counts as protein by the way
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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